Who said it: Barney Fife or Randy Disher from Monk?

By: H&I Staff     Posted: July 27, 2021, 12:02PM

Any sidekick character created after The Andy Griffith Show, especially one in law enforcement, owes a debt to Barney Fife. Don Knotts’ beloved deputy is the epitome of the dedicated yet bumbling second-in-command. Randy Disher, the Lieutenant to Police Captain Leland Stottlemeyer in Monk, is a natural evolution of the archetype perfected by Knotts.

Randy and Barney share many similarities. They’re both dedicated to what they do, even if they don’t always do it right. They both offer some outlandish theories and both even threaten to quit the force when they feel they’ve gone underappreciated.

Here are some great lines uttered by both Randy and Barney. Can you guess who said what?

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  1. “Here at the Rock we have two basic rules. Memorize them so that you can say them in your sleep.”
  2. “Lipstick Killer. Lipstick Assassin. Mr. Lipstick. I've always wanted to name one of these guys.”
  3. “I ain't got time to stand around here and discuss trivial trivialities.”
  4. “No problems! This won’t take a minute, I just need an extra set of handcuff keys… You know, just in case…”
  5. “I'm a big fan. Well, I was. Unless you're not guilty. In which case, we're all really sorry about all of this. Although, I'm pretty sure you're guilty. But if you're not, I'm sorry.”
  6. “There are atmospheric rays which control bodily motions. Now, if a person containing negative or hexing qualities gets between you and them rays, why, he creates a static that jars any successful motion into an unsuccessful motion and jinxes you.”
  7. “You know, it was pretty awful. But I got used to it. It's the worst part, you know. Getting used to it. Something you never really get used to.”
  8. “This screw-up. It wasn't me. It's always me. I can't believe it's not me. It's always me. This wasn't me. I wasn't even on the force back then.”
  9. “If only somebody would just commit a crime - one good crime! If only somebody'd just... kill somebody.”
  10. “Actually, Sheriff, the deer in the road was a big clue, was one of the keys to my solving the case.”
Who said it: Barney Fife or Randy Disher from Monk?

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